0

zip-zilch-nothing
nada-nothing-love
apparitional,  fictional,
spectral,  figmental,
delusive,  illusive,
abstract,  unreal,
imagined, un-bodied.

You, on your steady subtractive diet,
crossing your ankles in a subway car,
you can write beneath the footbridge,
"I was never here, "
but it will never be true. So be whole.

Taken, Not Found

These days I hold my anger
beneath my tongue like a charm.
Spent all my nights pining
for joy like some left lover.

[The griefmongers hoist up their billyclubs
The griefmongers howl from the satellites
The griefmongers polish collection plates
The griefmongers sleep soundly every night]

These days I realize
happiness must be taken,
pried from between smashed knuckles,
pulled from between gritted teeth.

I still have not learned to sleep in a burning house

I still have not learned
to sleep in a burning house
I weep smoke, dream ashes
fist full of matches

Marriage, Sometimes

Your breath this morning:
A failed cheese experiment.
Love you anyway.

Three Happinesses: Part Two

You’ll get no happy ending, and neither will I.

Bad drivers, bad haircuts, bad milk,

our lopsided loves, blown chances,

being too much and not enough.

All the hurts of age (my knees) (your hands),

the suicides of friends.

Whatever ever after you will get

is not one happiness, monolithic,

but many small ones:

a baby learning to laugh.

Bread baked by your mother,

and later, her recipe,

a sacrament.

A sudden mouthful

of kisses in the elevator,

or one tender kiss in the morning

as you’re shaking off a dream,

one that turns into your husband’s eyes,

soft with love in a rough face.

A friend’s voice.

Music.

This.

Three Happinesses: Part One

I know how it is. Darkness

seems more honest than daylight,

when we shuffle our hearts

to the bottom of the stack,

brew coffee, match socks, clock in.

If I tell you my happiness

I must be leaving something out.

So I write to you of griefs,

nakedly. But while you are

licking their salt from your lips,

somewhere that you are not looking

a songbird is taking a breath,

opening its mouth to sing.

Rockabye Baby: The Remix

My little sister was born when I was a teenager. I was so excited to sing lullabies to her. However, once I began to sing the classic "Rockabye Baby," I was horrified at the words, which I'd never really noticed as a child. Since then, I've heard a lot of other people express amused horror that our favorite lullaby depicts a baby falling out of a tree. So I thought I'd share the alternate words I made up as a 15-year-old. The tune is the same, of course, although I did add a few more syllables. Sing it aloud a couple times, and I bet you'll get the gist.

Rockabye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
Hear the tree whisper in the soft breeze
Sunlight is falling through all the leaves
A brown birdy sings you a lullaby
Now fall asleep, out under the sky


Enjoy!

River-dreams

The river, she dreams of oceans,
of shallow ancient seas,
Paleozoic, of losing herself
before she carved these cliffs
from yearning. Her river-dreams
rise up from the canyons
and hang here in the branches,
pearling the early world
with water, oceans in air.
Muttering in sleep,
she runs the red of an old wound,
returning to the sea.

Synonyms for Anger

The sunlight at noon:
hard, flat, and without mercy.
A bright blade against.

Timekeeping

Your focus is absolute.

Your sticky fingers cup each apricot, giving it a gentle turn

to find the blush of ripeness. You have not seen the thundercloud

that’s slumping overhead, grumbling with the weight of rain.

The bird calls halt into an urgent stillness. In that hush

the pears become pendulums, the flagpole a sundial,

and Time slides by between canal-banks.

I barely keep from leaping in to gather up the water to my body,

to pile it and hoard it, anything  to hold on to your babyhood,

which has left you while I wasn’t looking, swiftly as the apricots

that ripen overnight.     

Already my memory fails me.

 I know that when I’m older it will wash away

and leave me clutching only silt and this:

a photograph of you at nearly four

running through an orchard in the rain. 

Storytellers

We are the dregs of the civilized,

the afterbirth of ego;

loitering professionally in libraries,

alchemists of metaphor,

the most artful of liars.

Is a paper offering worthy?

For the makers of stories
are the keepers of all the world’s brothers.